I’m dusting off some old short stories and poetry to finally give a home to online – as I slowly morph this into mostly a site for my writing. This first piece was written in spring of 2008 for a creative writing assignment in college. It was lightly edited yesterday to fix obvious errors and to better reflect how my writing style has evolved. Content warning for memory loss/amnesia.
What makes a girl or boy? Is it clothes or hair or a toy? Is it pink, is it blue That defines girl or boy to you? If a boy wears a crown and a dress, Is he a prince or princess? If a girl takes up a sword to fight, Is she a damsel or knight? Who drew the line in the sand To decree on which side we should stand? What king, what ruler, what czar Determined who we can say we are? What makes a girl or boy? Neither clothes, nor hair, nor a toy. Not pink, child, nor blue – What defines who you are is you.
This is the first poem I’ve (deliberately) written in about a decade and, good or bad, I owe my inspiration to Simoa for encouraging me to try my hand at poetry again.
Note: if you were following me for my faith-based posts, those have moved to another WordPress: All Things That Grow. Also, apologies for lack of replies to the comments on my Doris Day post. Depression hit hard, but I will try to get to those shortly.
Some time during my second college degree, I stopped writing. Original fiction. Poetry. Songs. Fanfiction. I just stopped. Insecure and depressed and more, I stopped. A few years ago I started writing fanfiction again, but I kept it to myself. Then, I started publishing some of my fanfiction again and have been doing that again for going on two years. I get a lot of wonderful feedback, including comments insisting I work on my own material for publication (some from people actually in the industry which boggles my mind). In spite of that, I have remained largely insecure and have let that – and my ongoing depression – prevent me from trying my hand at original fic on a serious level. I’ll start to write, nothing will happen, and I’ll skitter back to fanfiction where it all comes much easier to me (which I guess makes sense seeing as the heavy lifting has been done and I adore the characters I’m working with most of the time).
It’s time for that to change.
Now that I’ve settled on a pen name that I adore, and now that I’ve been looking at some long term goals I have for the next two years, including moving to a new place while juggling student debt on my current salary (that whopping 2,000 dollar lump payment on one of my loans I just made has me seeing a few stars), I realize it’s time to stop hem-hawing and start creating content. Even if it’s like throwing darts at a dartboard and I end up with a whole lot of nothing before I end up with something, it’s like that old motivational poster: You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. I can’t be a writer if I never write.
So, a couple days ago, I opened up a new package of loose leaf paper – God knows I have more than enough laying around my room – and started drafting a story idea that’s been in the back of my mind (originally intended as an au fanfic in one of the fandoms I’m in) for about six months.
This is horrible, extremely rough, sure, but I know if I don’t share it I won’t stay motivated. So, I present you with the initial draft first section of what will hopefully be the first completed original fic I’ve written since college.
And I’d like to dedicate this little post to Simoa, whose perseverance as a writer has inspired me and made me dare to try again ♥